[Writingworkshop] one hundred and eighty days of rhythm

[Adam Holland]

I'm getting kind of a Whitman vibe from the last two lines.

also enjoying the tripartite repetition.

Finally, though I doubt it is your intent, my mind keeps trying to read this
as the words of a newly self-aware AI.

I had more luck doing it with this one than with the last draft.



On Mon, Jan 19, 2009 at 12:07 AM, Daniel Peters <danieltpeters at gmail.com>wrote:

> I've started a long season of high rhythm in the hopes it is what I need
>
> I will be awake
>
>
> waited oh so quiet for far too long to lack the strength to sing this song
> I was meant to carry humans kick off your shoes my brother horse
> no bent wheels or broken legs all attempts at empty gestures cut short
> keep my blinders on my patience strong
> got to make me peace with all these always onlys
> all these lonely souls sing
> sing with me, sing with me
>
> I will be awake now
> I will be awake now
> I will be awake now
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writingworkshop mailing list
> Writingworkshop at nealemorison.org
> http://nealemorison.org/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.org
>
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://nealemorison.org/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.org/attachments/20090119/4eb2d15a/attachment.html>