[Writingworkshop] Tracking

[Antony Nigel Donovan]

I read the story and something wasn't working for me.  At first, I
couldn't figure out what it was.  The characters are well drawn.  The
subject matter is interesting and relevant.  Then it hit me:  I know the
narrator, and I don't like him.  I don't identify with him and I don't
want to try.

So, something to consider:  tell the same story but from Tessa's POV.  I
believe I would find it much easier to identify with her and her
situation.

That's my take overall take.

Antony.

PS - I've been meaning to read and respond to "The Uncomfortablists",
but I'm finding it difficult to put aside the time it deserves.  Sorry
about that.  

On Wed, 2009-04-29 at 08:05 -0400, Adam Holland wrote:
> well done!
> I look forward to reading  it.
> I got a great idea for a story while studying for exams, and will
> probably try to write it as soon as they are over.
> 
> 
> On Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 7:42 AM, Neale Morison
> <neale at nealemorison.com> wrote:
>         I wrote a first draft of  ~4000 word short story this week:
>         
>         http://www.nealemorison.com/writing/shortstories/Tracking.pdf
>         
>         
>         
>         -- 
>         Neale Morison
>         neale at nealemorison.com
>         http://www.nealemorison.com
>         35 Frazer St, Leichhardt NSW 2040
>         +61 417 661 427
>         
>         
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>         Writingworkshop at nealemorison.org
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