[Writingworkshop] Fluffy - almost first draft

[Neale Morison]

Hi all. There's an almost first draft for Fluffy at:
http://www.nealemorison.org/writing/fluffy/

All the songs and scenes are in place and in a preliminary order.
I'll be writing a little more material for some scenes, but this won't 
affect the flow.
The new scenes in this version are:
Browse Her - some of the word association stuff
The Disciple
The Wink

What I'm hoping to find out on Thursday or from your comments at any 
time are things like:
- does the narrative love story hold it together?
- does the plot, if we may call it that, make sense in its own terms?
- do the middle scenes create too much fragmentation?
- does the timing and pacing work, and if not where are the big problems?
- am I doing enough with Sarah?

There may be many other problems I'm not aware of, so please let me know.

Regards,
Neale

-- 
Neale Morison
neale at nealemorison.com
http://www.nealemorison.com
31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139
+1 617 460 9969
nmorison at mit.edu