[Writingworkshop] Psychobabble and Name Dropping (+ Another poem...)

[Jessica R Nesvold]

Sorry for the one month propagation delay in response here (class --> complete
lack of free time), but I just wanted to say that I've really been 
enjoying the
poetry a lot.  I also wanted to offer a couple of comments.

You have a great sense of rhythm in all of these poems.  It's obvious that you
like to play with the language.  It's original and fun to read.  That said, I
think some of your work could benefit from being shorter... ?  I hope that's
not an awful thing to say, but sometimes it seems like it would pack a bigger
punch if it were more condensed.

For example, to paraphrase the Paraphrasus:


A rose is a rose is a rose not a phallus -
Can all be condensed into a single word.


Ok, this is a little extreme.  It cuts about 90%, but these are the two 
lines I
like best and they go together really well.  I tried messing around with
putting some of the other lines in but I always come back to this combination.
It's neat because it's blunt and at the same time kind of mysterious.

Anyway, here's one more (again... sorry for maiming it, you can ignore this if
you like; they really cool poems already).

Mr A

Don't take refuge in a bottle,
Try the thoughts of Aristotle -

  Politics within a city,
  How to drum up fear and pity,
  Tips on tragedies and farces,
  Hints on how to reach katharsis,
  (Like nirvana, only Greeker)
  How to be a public speaker,
  Physics, regular and meta,
  What is good and what is better,
  Want a book on self-improvement?
  Mr A kicked off the movement -
    How a man should live his life,
    When a man should get a wife,
    How a man should face desire,
    When a man should play with fire.

A man should be content to think -
Damn it,
   I will have that drink.


  Hope everyone is having a good week.  I've also attached a recent poem of my
own and would be more then happy to get any comments/critiques you all 
may have
to offer.

- Jess




Quoting Neale Morison <neale at nealemorison.com>:

>
> Psycholingo
>
> You may speak of your shamans and mystics,
> You can mention your lies and statistics,
> That bullshit you'll bear with,
> It doesn't compare with
> The bollocks they talk in linguistics.
>
> There are dreamers and hopeless romantics,
> There are manics, depressives and frantics,
> Though their picture is hazy,
> They're nowhere as crazy
> As students of psychosemantics.
>
>
>
> Paraphrasus Interruptus
>
> 2008-02-10
>
> Marvell, circumspect in so many respects,
> Wasn't coy when confronted with not enough sex,
>
> Lord Tennyson said it and so did Pavlova
> 'Tis better than nothing to get your leg over,
>
> Shakespeare remarked, in the passion of youth,
> Get it on, do it now, come on baby, forsooth.
>
> Keats, was it not, who would cry without cease,
> For Homer's sake, Chapman, just bring us more Greece
>
> Beckett, for brevity, up it did sum,
> With his da da da, da da da, da da da, bum
>
> A rose is a rose is a rose not a phallus,
> When cockless, go Toklas, as Gert said to Alice
>
> Hemingway married for all he was worth,
> And we know what he meant by the movement of earth,
>
> Cole Porter when thinking of birds and of bees,
> Used to wish he'd done more while he still had his knees
>
> Said Charles, in addition to fightin' and foragin'
> Species need this to arrive at an origin.
>
> Some say the Bible knows which way is north,
> And provides clear instruction on how to go forth,
>
> The universe ages and grows ever limper,
> But when it began it was not with a whimper,
>
> Agreement is general; wisdom, with luck,
> Can all be condensed in a single word.
>
>
>
> 13/02/2008 08:56
>
> Mr A
>
> Prior to refuge in the bottle,
> Try the thoughts of Aristotle,
> Politics within a city,
> How to drum up fear and pity,
> Tips on tragedies and farces,
> Hints on how to reach katharsis,
> (Like nirvana, only Greeker)
> How to be a public speaker,
> Physics, regular and meta,
> What is good and what is better,
> Osophy and ology,
> More than one apology,
> Want a book on self-improvement?
> Mr A kicked off the movement,
> How a man should live his life,
> Even when to get a wife,
> Goals to which we should aspire,
> How to overcome desire,
> His failure to be feministic,
> Makes some people go ballistic,
> Others, in frenetic rages,
> Blame him for the Middle Ages,
> There was a long paralysis,
> In awe of his analysis,
> For Mr A a little think,
> Was more amusing than a drink.
>
>
>
> 14/02/2008 12:56
> Psychobabble
>
> Book Review
>
> A man who has only a hammer'll
> Treat all as a nail, and a scammer'll
> Fit all to his theory,
> Untestable, eerie,
> Unconscionable and bicameral.
>
>
> --
> Neale Morison
> neale at nealemorison.com
> http://www.nealemorison.com
> 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139
> +1 617 460 9969
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writingworkshop mailing list
> Writingworkshop at nealemorison.org
> http://nealemorison.org/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.org
>


-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: White.doc
Type: application/msword
Size: 24576 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://nealemorison.org/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.org/attachments/20080228/969f9936/attachment-0001.doc